It's A Crappy Life
by Invader Derp
Summary: When Dib visits a museum, he is teleported into the future where things are, well, different if you could say. YUP THIS IS A ONESHOT FOLKS! Rated T for the authors notes, but the story is general K.


**A/N: So I'm going to be doing a kind of "It's a Wonderful Life" story. So I'm either going to do this great like the Teen Titans (ORIGINAL!) episode "How Long is Forever?" Or I'm going to fuck it up like, NO NOT "IT'S A WISHFUL LIFE" IT'S GIVING ME FLASHBACKS!**

 **Invader Derp Productions Persents**

 **"It's A Crappy Life"**

 **(Waffles Waffles, NO I DON'T NEED MORE FLASHBACKS!)**

 _Skool_

Ms. Bitters was ranting to the class about the recent election, saying that their country is doomed no matter who is elected.

"And children, you can see that building a wall to keep Mexicans out of our country is ludicrous. Plus it hurts Invader Johnny's feelings." She said.

Keef raised hks hand, "Ms. Bitters, who is Invader Johnny?" Keef asked.

"Some demented author on . Anywho children, our porn- uh I mean, projects, are ready. Dib your first." Ms. Bitters said, she pointed her old finger at Dib.

"But my last name is in the middle of the alphabet though." Dib said.

"I really don't care. Now go up there." Ms. Bitters said.

Dib walked up, he quickly set up his presentation, "So fellow skoolmates. Ever since Zim has arrived you know, HOW COME NO ONE LISTENS TO ME-" Dib paused for a second, "Sorry went off track, so these antennae on this picture, the pupiless shining red eyes! That metal backpack! CAN'T YOU ALL SEE IT! CAN'T YOU!?"

"Wow, you are so stupid." Zita said.

"Yeah! Mean, he's even more stupid than Zim!" Torque said.

"AAAAAAAAH! THE KID PICKING HIS NOSE! AAAAAAH!" Zim screamed in terror.

"Ok, he's close to the stupidity of Zim." Torque said.

"I am not stupid! This striped shirt is.. tight!" Zim said.

Torque rolled his eyes.

"PEOPLE! ZIM IS AN ALIEN! AN ALIEEEN!" Dib yelled.

Everyone laughed at Dib, like a lot right then.

 _Membrane Household_

Dib walked into his house, he sighed. "Gaz, I feel as if I'm unappreciated!" Dib said.

"Shush." Gaz said.

"Mean, I always protect Earth from Zim's plans!" Dib said

"Double Shush." Gaz said.

"AND-" Gaz then punched Dib right up the nose, "OW MY NOSE!"

"Did that shush you!?"

"Yes very much. Anywho, I got to go to the museum for that tour." Dib said.

"Ok then, have fun I guess." Gaz said, she then jumped onto their couch and continued to play on her Game Slave.

 _Museum_

"And this tourist is the Eye of Gypsies. It is rumored to be a time traveling device," the tour guide said, "but we can all say that is definitely not true."

"Uh, sir?" Dib said.

"Yes big-headed guy in the back."

"MY- oh forget it. Uh, how do we know that."

"Common sense, kid! Mean we've never done anything with it, though... Well anywho let's continue-"

Then a bandit came into the museum with a pistol in his hand, "OK LISTEN UP! WE'LL BE TAKING THE EYE OF GYPSIES!" He said, he then broke the glass and got the Eye, "NOW! I WILL-" he then tripped and accidentally landed on Dib, he then disappeared. "Uh, just pertend... that never happened."

 _5 Years Later_

Dib fell through a portal to land in a desolate wasteland. Red skies, piles of scrapped metal, basically your old generic desolate. Dib looked confuse as he turned his head, he then saw a teenage girl sitting on a pile of scrapped metal. He walked up to her.

"Uh, hey. What is this.. world thing?" Dib said.

"Is that you?" She asked.

"Uh, who..." Dib asked.

The girl turned around, she had a face like Gaz's, "Wow, your head is just as big as I remember."

"Is your name uh, possibly-"

"Yes Dib, I'm Gaz."

"Uh okay, how come you look like a 16 year old?" Dib asked.

"Because I am... the question is, why do you look like a 12 year old?" Gaz asked.

"I must've traveled in time! And now I'm stuck in the Apocolypse. And the worst thing is, I NEVER WOULD HAVE EXPIERENCED MANHOOD IN SAFE WAY!" Dib said.

"Oh and I remember you being a crybaby also..." Gaz said.

"I'm not a crybaby." Dib said, Gaz then punched him in the arm, "OW OW OW! THAT HURTS!"

"I say otherwise." Gaz said.

"Gaz, how come the world is this way?" Dib asked.

"Stupid Zim took over the world, or whatever." Gaz said.

"ZIM TOOK OVER THE WORLD!?" Dib yelled.

"Yeah, I just said tha-"

"ZIM TOOK OVER THE FREAKING WORLD!?" Dib yelled again.

"Uh, anyway want some pizza." Gaz said.

"Sure," Dib said, he took a bite out of it and immediately started coughing, "It tastes like squid intestines." Dib said raspily.

"Yeah, it's made out of Irken ingredients. Don't worry you get used to it."

"MY TOUNGE! I NEED SOMETHING TO WASH IT OUT!" Dib said, Gaz slowly turned a water bottle over to him, "Something natural to Earth." Dib said, Gaz slowly put it back.

"Well Zim took all of our resources of Earth and fed it to a demonic spirit." Gaz said.

"Uh... not going to question that. I got to see how other people are doing! See ya!" Dib then started running.

"Thank goodness, I forgot how annoying his voice was." Gaz said, she then took out a GameSlave 2 and started playing.

 _Membrane Household_

Well, maybe not Household. It was like a bunch of bricks on a sorta empty spot. Dib walked by the area and saw Professer Membrane.

"My son.. he's not insane, my son... HE'S NOT INSANE!" Membrane was saying.

"Uh, what?" Dib asked as he came up to his father.

"I never knew... you were right about the foreign kid. HE WAS AN ALIEN!" Membrane said.

"Dad how come your acting insane... well more than usual." Dib said, "Yeah you were always kind of insane..."

Membrane just sat there, did nothing at all. He just sat there.

"WHYYYYYYYY!" He suddenly yelled.

"I will.. just be, you know, going." Dib said.

 _Skool_

Dib walked into the Skool, he suddenly saw Torque groaning on the floor.

"Oooooooooooooh." Torque said.

"Torque!" Dib yelled.

"Dib! I never should've doubted you! It was my biggest regret. Well, my 2nd biggest. First was not tasting a triple sized sub." Torque said, "So hungry.."

"Here Torque," Dib dug into his pocket to pull out the pizza he had token a bite out of earlier, "take this." Dib said.

"Ok." Torque then took it and took a bite out of it, he immediately coughed, "Tastes like squid intestines." He said raspily.

"That's exactly what I said! Hey, do you know where Zim is?" Dib asked.

"I don't know. The purple haired girl on that hill knows all answers though." Torque said.

"Let me guess, her name is Gaz?" Dib asked.

"How could you tell!?" Torque said.

"No reason..." Dib said

 _Gaz's Hill of Knowledge! Wait, what about the Hill of Intelligence..._

Dib walked up to Gaz's little hill and came up to her.

"Didn't think I'd see you again, go away." Gaz said.

"Where is Zim, though?" Dib asked.

"Go straight to my left." Gaz said.

"Thanks!" Dib then ran away.

"Always has to come, doesn't he..." Gaz said.

 _Castle... OF DOOM!_

Dib walked into Zim's castle. He greeted him on a throne.

"HAVE ANY SUGGESTION-" Zim then recognized him, "Dib!? I thought you were dead!?" Zim said.

"What?" Dib asked.

"Yes, dead. In fact, when I heard you were dead by that Eye of Goopsie or whatever, I decided to take over the world, because you were not in my way Dib-stink! MUHAHAHAHHHAHAH!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yes Dib!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

"I SAID YES SO GET THE POINT!" Zim yelled.

"Ok." Dib said, "I GOT TO GET BACK IN TIME SO I CAN STOP THIS APOCOLYPSE!" Dib said.

"Not so fast, Dib-creature." Zim said, his robot guards grabbed Dib.

"AAAH! LET ME GO!" Dib said.

"You'd think I'd let you go already Dib? The fun has only began, ANOTHER EVIL LAUGH! MUHAHAHAHAHHAAHA! Ok, that's good enough for today."

"What are you going to do with me?" Dib said, "Execution!? Being slowly dripped into lava!?"

"No... something much worse..." Zim said, "WE WILL TICKLE, YOUR FOOT!"

"NOOOOOOOOO! Everyone knows my foot is unbearably ticklish! You can't do this!" Dib said.

"Oh I can Dib, oh I can..." He then grabbed a feather and started to tickle Dib's foot.

"OH NO... HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!"

 _3 Days Later_

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Dib laughed.

"Now Dib, I will do this for all eternity-"

"HEY MASTER I MADE WAFFLES!" GIR suddenly yelled, which made Zim accidentally move his hand and accidentally tickled the robot gaurd.

"ERROR! ERROR! BEING TICKLED!" The robot then blew up, then Dib hit the robot on his other side and start running.

"Oh no! Dib is escaping!" Zim yelled.

Dib was running until he bumped into GIR.

"Stand back!" GIR said in duty mode, "You're an inturder."

"Hey do you know where any time traveling devices are?" Dib asked.

"NUH UH!" GIR yelled, back to his normal self.

"What about for this plushie I got." Dib said.

"What animal?"

"Moose."

"DEAL! Just go straight behind me, take a left at an intersection and go straight ahead. Then you'll be in the room!" GIR said.

"Thanks." Dib started running then, Zim came to GIR.

"GIR did you tell him anything?" Zim asked.

"Uh, told him about the time traveling machine we got." GIR said.

Zim just looked at GIR for a few seconds with a look that said, "Seriously?"

"I'm finally here!" Dib said when he got to the Time Traveling room, "Now I just got to set the time coordinates and place coordinates." Dib said.

"NOT SO FAST DIB!" Zim said, "Impressive that you were able to get away from me.. but now, your time is up!" Dib just pressed a button, he then slowly walked into the time machine, and then disappeared. "DANG IT! SHOULD'VE KNOWN THAT COMING!"

 _Present Day Museum_

Dib fell through a portal coming back to the robbery scene when it was happening.

"Oh, well the kid that disappeared is back." A robber said.

Then a bunch of cops came in pointing their guns at the robbers.

"SURRENDER YOURSELF TO THE AUTHORITES! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED AND YOU'LL BE ARRESTED!" One of the cops spoke through a megaphone.

The robbers sighed and surrendered.

 _Membrane Household_

"And Gaz it turns out that I'm protecting Earth every day! And without me the Earth is doomed!" Dib said.

"Shut up." Gaz said, "Do I have to rip out your vocal cords?"

"AND ONCE AGAIN! THE DAY IS SAVED THANKS TO THE POWERPUF- I MEAN DIB!" A random narrator shouted out of nowhere.

"What was that random voice?" Dib asked.

 **The End**


End file.
